One of the most frustrating things about having CFS is having to make decisions on what I do and don’t do in any one day/week.
In my mind, now that I am out of the dark days of hypothyroid and CFS induced fugue, I am no different to how I was in my gap year (scarily, 17 years and half my lifetime ago now) before I had Glandular Fever where I would work shifts – either early 6am-2pm or late 2-10pm – ride the horse most weekdays as well as going jive dancing 2-3 times a week.
Now I have to decide between what exercise I want to do each day in addition to my work day: yesterday was Pilates so I didn’t ride; tonight is dancing so I won’t be riding even though it is a lovely day. Tomorrow I will ride as I don’t have pilates or dancing.
Because I still think of myself as that bundle of energy who used to bounce around the warehouse where I worked shifts, scooting up the asles on my wheeled office chair to ‘pick’ the orders of contact lenses we would be labelling and sending around the world, ride either one or two horses for an hour+ each when I’d finished then go dancing for 4-hours and still have energy to burn, I find it difficult to accept these limitations.
I have to keep reminding myself of how far I have come. Three years ago I was only just capable of getting out of bed and sitting on the sofa in a semi-comatose state, often not even having enough energy or being able to stand long enough to brush my teeth.
Compared to where I was I’m running marathons but, as is common with many people who develop CFS, I want do be running along at full tilt and do more, more, more!
In other news: the last couple of weeks haven’t been good for the diet – having a cold means I can’t do any ‘extra’ exercise other than getting around and living and then my body goes into “carb craving” mode. This week has been better so as I’m feeling better and able to exercise.