24 little hours | Brought the sunshine and flowers | where there used to be rain
So says the song.
And it is true. A better nights sleep thanks to the decline of the cough (still there but not ‘wring you out and keep you awake’ violent coughing like before) and glorious sunshine and I feel refreshed and recharged.
It is such a relief to feel somewhere approaching ‘normal’. So much of CFS is being a prisoner in your own body that, having struggled long and hard to regain some control I hate it when when it slips.
I think in some ways that is probably an aspect of the personalities of people who develop CFS (and the myriad of diseases under the CFS umbrella); I have heard it described as “Type A” and “110%ers” but there is also an aspect, at least for me, of not wanting to be confined to the limits of your body, pushing yourself beyond what is sensible and burning the candle at both ends.
This works ok for a while, when everything is OK, but you have no reserves to bolster you when things aren’t so great. And when you run on that high tight-rope and get hit with an emotional and physical bullet at the same time, you fall all the harder: into the pit of CFS.
For me it was the violent death of my gorgeous horse followed by glandular fever.
Anyway, my point is that even when you think the end is nigh (last week was tough emotionally, there were tears), each new day brings the potential for sunshine and flowers. If you can keep that spark of optimism about even the smallest things then it makes it so much easier. Recovery from a place of positivity is easier than the other place.